Always Wanting More... Of What?

Take a look underneath the surface and start having more of IT today.

What is it about us humans that leaves us perpetually wanting more? Or should I say: feeling like we don’t have enough yet… ever?

These thoughts are with so many of us daily: “If I only had __________ (more money, less stress, a relationship, insert whatever fits your thoughts), my life would be much better/ easier/ perfect.” What we are doing on an unconscious level by thinking like this is attaching large-scale life happiness to tiny little shifts in our lives that are dependent on the external world somehow changing in our favor.

But wait, are you saying that tiny little shifts don’t matter?

 Not at all. In fact, I am all about tiny little shifts (not just because it roles off the tongue so beautifully). BUT these shifts need to happen within ourselves, in our own inner world, in our own relationship with ourselves -not in the external world. The reason is two-fold:

1)    If we expect our lives to improve contingent upon external changes, we might just be waiting forever. You are waiting for the universe so serve you oysters on a silver platter, when the universe might just not have a fancy restaurant in store right now. By waiting for the external world to make your life better, you are completely, entirely disempowering yourself. You are allowing yourself to be the victim of your surroundings and your own world. You are removing yourself, your own drives and passions from the happiness equation.

2)    Think about how you would have filled in the blank at the beginning of the article. You are not really only asking for more money, for example. I bet that within that same wish, you also automatically embedded a job in which you are happy, where you have plenty of free evenings that you can spend with your friends on nice dinners, time to zen out at that cute yoga studio you have been eyeing… the list is endless. You are probably not imagining yourself just holding a stack of money and still stressed out to the nines and feeling lonely, are you? Similarly with a relationship or finding love, you are probably not imagining yourself with just anyone, but with someone who fits for you, who speaks your intuitive language. What I am saying is that these wishful pictures for a happier life that exist in our imagination are not just one dot on a large canvas, but they are beautiful vibrant stories.


So, what now? Get to the point already. What do you mean by making tiny little shifts within oneself?


Next time you have a thought that puts your happiness in the court of the outside world, pay attention, listen to it, and start to ask: If I actually had __________  (more money, less stress, a relationship, …), how would my life be different? How would I feel? What are the things I would do everyday (leave out the dream vacations and mansions for now and focus on your daily life)? Focus on how you would feel waking up in the morning and going to sleep at night.

With these questions answered honestly, you can now begin to recognize what IT is that YOU actually want in your life that will make you the happy, content, and vibrant person you want to be. What you filled in the blank is merely the veil of a much deeper desire.

What I want to challenge you with today is to start doing the things you said you would do if you had __________. Perhaps you answered that you would go to dinner with your friends more. While you might not be going to the 5-star restaurant you imagined, give yourself permission to recreate the core experience that you are seeking by surrounding yourself with your friends, eating something you love, sharing stories, laughing. Perhaps you will get together at someone’s house and cook a wonderful meal together, put out a white tablecloth and light a candle.

The point is this:

Make the internal shift that is giving you permission to start living your dream life now.

Give yourself permission to be happy today.

Allow your own creativity to empower you to live your dream future as if it was happening already.

Because it is… if you let it.


Marianne Williamson captured this notion precisely when she said:

“We are not held back by the love we didn’t receive in the past, but by the love we’re not extending in the present.”

Extend this love today. Take charge and pave your own road. Insert yourself into the happiness equation.

Manifest this internal state of love, optimism, and happiness in your life in the present and everything else will fall into place on the outside. This is the law of attraction and the core principle of trusting yourself and your own experience.

I would love to hear your comments, questions, thoughts, and/or personal ways of making (or starting to make) these tiny little shifts on the inside. Perhaps you have more ideas and suggestions? Share them.

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Have a lovely day,

Caroline [fbcomments]