As a life coach it is my mission to set women free to be who they are and do what they love -independently of external expectations and societal norms, because I believe that when women wake up to their own desires and their intrinsic power, and realize their dreams and callings, they will spread the kind of happiness that will be carried through generations to come.
The way I do this is by helping women make the changes they have been internally debating or “dreaming” about for years without getting paralyzed by overwhelm, self-doubt, or constant worrying.
Instead, I focus on supporting “my ladies” in creating a positive and nurturing relationship with themselves so they can feel clear, motivated to the core, and at ease about what they want and how to get it… now, not “later.”
You might be thinking to yourself “HA! Easier said than done, Caroline.”
And I get it. It sounds like a HUGE step and to be honest, IT IS. It is also a hugely IMPORTANT step that will transform your life and give you access to the life you secretly want!
In order for transformation to happen, a few things need to be put into place. The conditions need to be right. The SPACE needs to be ready to nurture your transformation and allow it to flourish.
If you are trying to force change into your life without preparing the foundation, how is this change ever going to stick around?
As soon as you stop being 100% disciplined and remove your will-power just the slightest bit, all that well-intentioned change will crumble and you will be left feeling disappointed and worthless about your inability to “just do it.”
It’s like trying to grow daffodils on concrete ground. Good luck!
Personally, I have never had much success creating lasting change using discipline, will-power, and force.
Point blank, it’s just not fun and therefore I will use any loophole and excuse to get around it. I was constantly fighting myself and ended up beating myself up for straying.And I don't want to beat myself up anymore!
So, here is what I suggest instead: Instead of focusing all your energy into forcing change, why not start with putting your energy into creating the SPACE where change can actually happen.
Why not look for and nurture a beautiful field with good soil and plenty of sunshine before you try to plant the seeds?
This topic of CREATING THE RIGHT SPACE is so fundamental because it is also a lesson to treat yourself respectfully. That’s why I am going to spend the next few blogposts on how to create this nourishing space on different levels.
Today’s post is on creating the PHYSICAL SPACE for real change to happen… and STICK!
If your physical space if filled and cluttered with “stuff” there is literally no room for anything new to come in and grow healthy roots.
Oftentimes, our physical stuff is also keeping us stuck and attached to the past, to old concepts of ourselves, to the way we used to feel, to the way we used to dress when we were clueless about what we wanted in our careers, to old love and heartache, to the way we organized (or did not organize) our desk in college, to the way we relaxed at home when it was more important to go party.
William Morris said:
“Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful.”
Here are 3 key areas of your physical space to re-examine and get ready to hold the change you desire:
1) Your working area: I am believer that your desk is a reflection of how serious you take yourself as a professional. There is a ground-floor office next to my apartment and -let me tell you- I have never ever seen a messier desk. I can barely see the man behind the chaos, because there are literally so many stacked papers. Every single time I walk by there and peak in, I can only think how I would never ever trust this person to do any work for me, because I cannot help but think how much he must hate his job.
On the other hand, I went to a friend’s office the other day and she had her desk prepared in the most loving of ways. Everything around her was just radiating with support and passion for what she does. If you want to be a writer, do you have a beautiful notepad and a great pen ready? Do you have a book by your favorite author near by? Take a look at your working area and see if it is supportive of what you do? Is is a nurturing environment that invites positive change?
2) Your living room (or wherever you relax): As I got older, the way I thought about my apartment changed dramatically from me thinking of it as “a place to crash” to “this is my home, my sanctuary.” I need a place to unwind, to relax, and to come home to ME. I find it really difficult to create my life and make positive shifts in a place that is full of distractions. I literally feel like there is no space for my imagination to take flight or for my dreams to be realized.
If the space around me is taken care of with love and attention to detail, I immediately feel light, optimistic, and like anything is possible. It’s like I am sitting in a safe and nurturing nest versus a 5-loop roller-coaster.
3) Your closet: Is your wardrobe reflective of how you want to feel and be seen in the world? Do your garments make you feel beautiful? Can you easily access your favorite pieces? If your closet is a hot mess and filled with items that just don’t make you feel good or have simply expired your taste, do a sweep through and donate them.
If you want to be seen as an expert in your field, dress the part and it will not only affect how your environment responds to you, but more importantly, how confidently you feel about where you are going. If you are actively inviting change into your life, dress as if that change already happened.
In the comments below, I would love to hear how you feel about your current physical space? Is it supportive of positive change? What needs to be done to make your physical space supportive of fulfilling your dreams?
Stay tuned for next week’s post which will be all about creating the best possible INNER SPACE from where your dreams can actually be supported and nurtured.
With love, nurturance, and spaciousness,