What I have noticed in my community (yep- that includes YOU!) is that most of you are natural givers and care-takers. Pretty much every single person I have talked to from my list has a huge heart, a craving for learning and creativity, and -very important!- a deep desire to be independent and free.
I totally get it, because I am in those exact same shoes. I love giving to others and feeling connection. I want to live in the expression of my creativity. I want to (in fact, need to!) feel independent and free in order to function at all -not to mention, at my best.
The sad reality of it is, however, that so many of you are struggling with your careers, hating the very place you schlepp yourself to every day, and in the midst of that frustration totally lose sight of the person you are and want to be.
At the beginning you still have hope that things will become better, but then you realize that you have been following a totally wrong track for “too long” and that your passion is really somewhere completely different. But you feel guilty, shameful, and anxious about starting over, so you wonder:
Is it too late?
Would they even want someone like me?
What if I fail and embarrass myself?
yadi yadi yada….
Here is what happens on an unconscious level: When we feel like sh*t over a long time period, we cannot see our own brilliance.
It’s a total downward spiral because we move further and further away from being in touch with our own strengths, passions, and desires. Worse yet, we begin to believe the stories we tell ourselves about how god-awful our lives are and how stuck, old, or inexperienced we are. We see no way out. It seems impossible.
Once we are in this place of total pessimism, it’s really hard to work yourself out of it, change your beliefs, and begin to see opportunity again. (Seeing opportunity, by the way, has nothing to do with being lucky and everything to do with the right mindset.)
If you don’t see opportunity, you cannot create opportunity, so you cannot make positive changes.
While this all sounds harsh and direct, I want you to know that I am writing this with the utmost compassion, because I know what that feels like to the T.
In order to help you out of that sucky soup, I want to propose 3 questions for you to ask yourself (or even better discuss them with someone out loud) to begin loosening up, creating space, and reframing your mindset.
The answers and solutions to the (re-)formation of your life don’t come from the outside. Rather they are within you. So let’s start looking.
1) In what kinds of environments do I feel my best and why?
This question is geared at making you focus on what you DO like (instead of on what you DON’T like). Your environment matters enormously because you -your body, your mind, your spirit- live in the context of your surroundings and the outer world. Especially if you identify with being a natural giver and care-taker, you are highly sensitive to what’s around you. Ask yourself in what kind of outer world your personal organism works at its best.
2) What am I exceptionally good at that I do even when nobody asks me to?
This is a tough question, I know! To help you along, you can try asking yourself: What do my friends appreciate me for most? How am I different? Perhaps even ask 10 of your friends and family members to tell you their perspective on your top 3 qualities. Answer it honestly and without thinking about what you should be good at. Think about the things you did before you worried about money or when you were a kid.
3) How can I start spending more time doing what I love right now?
Oftentimes we get stuck waiting for these huge AHA-moments or once in a life-time opportunities to come our way before we start doing what we love. As if we can only write, connect with people, decorate etc. if we get paid for it. As if we can only get into organizing fun events if we work at a glossy PR firm...
Especially if you want to get into creative work -let’s say writing- don’t wait for the perfect job to come out of nowhere, but start doing what you love right now. That’s how you actively invite opportunity into your life. Listen to yourself: if you don’t actually feel like writing without making money with it at the same time, a financially and personally satisfying career in that field is probably not your thing anyway (it’s likely just an escape from the dreary reality of your current job). Sorry to break that to you. Go back to question 1 and 2 to get to know yourself a bit more deeply.
I'd love to hear from you! In the comments below, let me know what kind of environments you enjoy and what you are good at that you are not utilizing. Sharing these things is a great way for you to make them more real.
Lastly & importantly: a lot of you have been asking me about life coaching, how I got started in it and how you could become a life coach as well. That’s why I want to introduce you to my friend, Jeannine Yoder.
Jeannine and I met on a retreat in Sonoma, CA last year and then again on a recent all girls trip to Vermont. Jeannine is amazing, super savvy & sweet and probably one of the funniest people I know :) Jeannine is also known as the coaches’ coach, because she is the creator of Mentor Masterclass, a one-stop-shop for new coaches to learn the intuitive skills, in-the-know life coaching techniques and business strategies they need to step into their life’s calling and to build their own business.
If you have ever thought about becoming a coach but didn’t know where to start, or crave a community where you can be supported, seen and and heard as you begin your life coaching business, then I highly recommend you check out Jeannine's Mentor Masterclass.
I have been picking Jeannine’s brain myself and honestly couldn’t be more impressed with her, her style, and her approach to teaching which is totally entertaining and full of zest for life as it is top notch quality coaching. Check it out for yourself here.
With love as always,