Hi there, I just got back from an amazing and über-relaxing weekend in upstate New York. Along with three other couples, my boyfriend and I stayed at one of my friend’s houses that is quietly tucked away in the woods. (Gosh- how much I love the quiet and fresh smell of the clean forest air.) What always amazes me when I get out of the busy streets of NYC and into nature, is how my mind becomes calm and thoughts that have been waiting for clarity suddenly have the space to inhabit my internal world wholly and actually formulate into something tangible.
Before I continue and get to today’s post, I would like to ask you a question:
When was the last time that you actually celebrated something that you achieved? The last time that you felt pride (not relief) for having met a goal?
Be honest. (FYI: By “celebrate” I don’t mean the checkmark next to your to-do list.)
This question has been the core of an on-going conversation I have been having with numerous clients and friends of mine lately. What we unanimously found was that nobody is taking the time to truly appreciate their achievements AND that so many of us do not FEEL like we have achieved much when, in fact, we have. And I am no exception.
As many of you know, since I graduated from grad school last May (an achievement in itself that I lacked to celebrate with the inner pride it deserved), I have been working super hard to create my own coaching business. I am constantly teaching myself new things in the digital and marketing worlds while at the same time creating programs that I fully endorse and believe in. I forget that I am achieving little milestones (going live with my website, having my first client, writing my first guestblog,…) along the way all the time. I just kind of take them for granted because these are goals I set for myself and failing is not an option I give myself. So, what happens is that achieving these goals simply registers as the norm and I move on at the speed to light, pursuing the next thing. At times, I feel relief for having completed a goal, but rarely do I take the time to translate relief into pride. See the difference?
This last weekend, in the serenity of nature while picking my own vegetables, I realized that this taking-for-granted-of-my-achievements happens way way WAY too much in my life. I am not only missing out on a party thrown on my behalf, but more importantly I am depriving myself of that fundamental awareness for the difference that I AM making in this world.
I am stunting my own growth because I am missing opportunities that foster that deep sense of self that informs me that I am capable, that I care, that I do things well, that I am a success.
It is like we are constantly on the hunt and then forget to actually eat what we caught. However, if we don’t eat, it is only a matter of time until we run out of energy and cannot hunt any more at all.
How are you stunting your growth? What have you achieved recently that you neglected to celebrate and be proud of?
Think about this for a moment.
Here is today’s twofold challenge:
1) Email your best friend, your partner, a family member, your roommate… whoever you would like to celebrate your achievements with and tell them that you would like to exchange (might as well encourage someone you love to feel proud as well, right?!) a list of accomplishments that were never properly celebrated. This list can include anything that is important to you. Don’t limit yourself to work, but expand your sense of pride into your personal life, into you health, into your hobbies. Think big and don’t be shy. Saying what you have accomplished out loud is the first & very essential step!
2) Then within the next two weeks, plan a get-together where you can celebrate these accomplishments and together dwell and expand into this fundamental and immensely enlivening sense of being proud, being capable, being a success, and being of value. Enjoy every moment of this!
In the comments below, let me know what accomplishments you overlooked previously and would like to celebrate retrospectively! Report your reactions, thoughts, suggestions, ideas, revelations, and experiences. I would love to celebrate with you.
With love & support, Caroline