How to be the strong kind of "feminine"

One of the questions I ask my female clients is how they feel about their femininity. When I came up with that question (which is part of our initial VIP session) I had no idea what kind of confusion and split reactions I would cause.

Now, I am not one to intentionally stir a big fire, but this question is a really important one.

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Here is what happens next: 99.9% say “What do you mean by femininity?”

And I get it. When we think of “femininity,” our minds flood with thousands of conflicting images that have been created by our culture and society: barby versus women burning their bras, girly dresses versus tailored suites, nurturing a beautiful home versus fighting for equal pay, billboard models versus finding beauty at any size, being fierce and opinionated versus giving in and pleasing, being strict and controlling versus being weak and needy… THE LIST GOES ON.

How could we possibility not be confused by this term?

However, for us women (& for men too, by the way!), our femininity is part of our constitution. It is part of our identity and who we are. And yet, we don’t know what it is, how it applies to us, and how we can turn it into an immense source of strength, personal power, intuition, and nourishment. We are not owning one of our greatest assets.

All too often, we avoid the topic altogether because the weak images dominate over the strong passionate ones and we are not quite sure how we can start to expand and grow into owning our femininity in a way that feels right and authentic for us -the woman, the individual.

Here is what I want you to know:

You are allowed to make up your own definition of femininity!

You are allowed to feel into your gut and discover the meaning of your own inner feminine in there (not out there!).  You are allowed to make yourself wildly beautiful on the outside and be a total badass in your thoughts, opinions and ideas. You are allowed to nurture a warm home and at the same time have fiercely passionate conversations that go beyond the choice of your curtains. I want you to know that in the creation of your Self, you are limitless!

Stepping into your feminine is an on-going discovery journey, because we are human and therefore continuously evolving.  

As we grow in up, grow into our bodies, grow into our relationships, grow into our roles as thinkers, leaders, friends, partners, lovers, mothers, care-givers, decision-makers, and general value-adders, we are constantly changing, shape-shifting, and re-inventing ourselves.

That’s what being ALIVE means: navigating your life while staying true to yourself, the person, the woman!

Are up for making this journey an exciting and fun one that is nurtured and informed by your own identity and yes, by your own feminine wisdom, or will you act from a place of not knowing who you are and what you truly want?

As I said, the discovery and empowerment of your own femininity is an individualized discovery, however, here are 3 sets of questions that I have found to be of consistent value when it comes to stepping into harmony and simultaneously into power with your femininity:

 

1) Get really curious and clear on what you are passionate about. The feminine lives in our creativity and our ability to nurture. Ask yourself questions like “What do I find wildly important in this world?” “What fills me with passion?” “What gives me meaning?” “When do I feel authentic and valuable?”

 

2) Take really great care of your body and mind. Our feminine thrives when we are well-nourished and shies away when we are depleted. It’s less about pushing and more about unfolding. How can you fuel your body? How can you maintain a calm and relaxed mind? What kinds of food and what kind of lifestyle choices give you energy? How can you be playful, at ease, and creatively expressed in your life?

 

3) Come out of hiding. Stop feeling embarrassed and fearful about your choices. Nurture cooperation instead of competition. Show up. Be proud. I cannot emphasize this enough. Fear of making the wrong choice is creating massive stuckness for so many people and effectively arrests them in action-paralysis. Similarly, not feeling proud of your own accomplishments or telling yourself “it’s not enough” creates chronic dissatisfaction. Can you start speaking your opinion more? Sharing your thoughts, beliefs, and intuitive itches more often? Can you celebrate your success with your friends and family? Can you celebrate other people’s successes more often? Step into the light. Birth your opinion. Share compliments. Receive acknowledgements (from others and yourself!).

 

In the comments below I would love to hear from you about what femininity means for you. You don’t have to have a perfect answer. You can simply share something that came up for you while reading this post and thinking about these questions.

With love, as always & particularly with this blogpost <3

Caroline

P.S.: This is the last week until October that I will be accepting clients into my 6-months signature program. There are only a few spots left. If you are ready to transform your life, really get to know yourself and start acting on your desires, I'd love to talk. Click here for a free 30-minute consultation.

Caroline Zwickson

Caroline Zwickson has a M.A. in Counseling Psychology and is a Certified Women’s Health Coach focusing on natural pregnancy preparation, hormone balance & postpartum recovery for women who want to feel amazing in their own skin and birth happy babies.

Caroline integrates functional nutrition, life & wellness coaching, as well as positive psychology to guide her clients in creating joyful lives and fertile bodies. She skillfully helps her clients adapt to new food & lifestyle habits that are grounded in establishing physical and emotional balance and health so that they can make decisions that are truly based on their goals, desires and intentions in life, especially at the onset of a new era: motherhood. Knowing how to nourish yourself in a way that promotes hormonal balance and having a close, loving relationship with yourself is the best possible preparation for pregnancy and motherhood.

Through her own experience navigating hormonal imbalances after coming off birth control in her 20s, Caroline experienced first hand that the most important factor in achieving a healthy and fun pregnancy is how women prepare their bodies and lives before they conceive. Her approach to women’s fertility and motherhood is based on positivity and the firm belief that women have an immense capacity for creation and bringing joy and beauty to the world.

Caroline has been featured in The Huffington Post, MindBodyGreen, Your Bella Life, The Beauty Bean and Cafe Truth. She has spoken at companies like Martha Stewart Living, Yelp, AMEX, Twitter, and Charity Water. You can find out more about her at www.carolinezwickson.com and you can download her FREE workbook guiding you through her top 5 tools to help you conceive naturally.