A few weeks ago I asked for your help to identify your biggest struggles and your greatest desires.
For the latter question an overwhelming number of you responded with saying that you want to feel free, satisfied, alive, successful for simply being YOU, optimistic, happy, complete, connected, appreciated, loved, unburdened, peaceful...
As your responses were still flooding into my inbox, I took a walk and reflected on the underlying message of these desired feelings. I kept being struck by this sense that so many of us are living in fear that somehow there isn’t enough…enough time, love, money, good men, success stories, great jobs… we are deeply afraid that WE aren’t enough.
So the word that kept coming up for me to connect the dots between these desired feelings, was ABUNDANCE.
When I say abundance, I mean emotional, physical, spiritual fluency. I mean an abundance of love, nourishing foods, body movement, air, connection, success, time, play, and money.
I mean that space where you have just the right amount to neither lack nor waste. There is no shortcoming or excess.
It’s a space that is free of worry and therefore allows you to float with ease, confidence, and authenticity. In this space, life feels amazing, safe, and easy.
Here is the tricky part: YOU CANNOT FORCE AN ABUNDANT LIFE.
The reason this makes it tricky is because most of us are pretty good at forcing, pushing, working, self-pressuring, and over-giving to others and less good at opening up, receiving, enjoying, and giving to ourselves.
So many of us have poor boundaries when it comes to making sure that we take proper care of ourselves.
Think about how often you sacrifice your well-being for someone else’s.
Think about how often you eat on the run because you tell yourself you don’t have time.
Think about how often you push your body just beyond what feels good.
Think about how often you talk to yourself in destructive, negative, and condescending ways.
This way of existing and treating yourself blocks abundance.
The way to truly start living an abundant life starts with opening up, stepping into your feminine, and receiving what already is so that you can build trust and more of what you truly desire can enter.
Are you treating yourself, talking to yourself, touching yourself, looking at yourself with a negative scarcity-mentality or with a positive abundance-mentality?
In today’s post I want to give you 3 specific tools that you can use today and right now to start switching from a scarcity to an abundance mentality! Here is to learning to receive:
1) Receive compliments and nice gestures that are extended to you + give them generously to others. When someone tells you that you look beautiful, simply say “Thank you!” instead of “Oh, I just got new blush” or “Black makes you look slim.” I used to be terrible at receiving compliments (and I’m still learning to get better at this!). Whenever someone would say something nice about my appearance I would find a way to passively beat myself up and deny the compliment that was given to me. At the same time, I was yearning to feel more loved, beautiful, and appreciated. I was blocking myself. Practice receiving kindness and value that is offered to you instead of rejecting it and denying your own worth.
On the same token, extend genuine compliments to others freely. See your neighbor’s beauty, your friend’s talents, your parents’ kindness and share it with them. What you give is what you receive!
2) Give value, don’t over-give. Kate Northrup described this difference in her book “Money: A Love Story” when she said that over-giving is not sustainable because you are not replenishing the source (yourself). That means that your Giving happens from a place of self-sacrifice and ultimately results in 2 people living “sub-optimal lives.” On the other hand, if you are giving value, you are not sacrificing your own well-being. You are giving from a place of genuineness, openness and love and therefore you remain sustainable and anchored in what is actually possible for you to give. It feels nourishing to you as much as it feels nourishing to the other person. When someone asks a favor of you, think about if you are self-sacrificing or genuinely giving.
3) Start paying attention to how often you use language that prematurely rejects yourself. I mean statements like “I cannot afford that!”, “I wish...” ,“I could never…” , “I wish I was that lucky…”, “I’m so jealous…”, “I’m not thin enough to wear that”, “I know I won’t get that job”, “it’s totally out of my reach…”, “I’m not qualified enough…”, “I don’t know…”, “I cannot…” etc.
These are all scarcity statements. They are all implying that whatever you have isn’t enough to get what you want. Often these statement are point-blank false. Make it a habit to question these statements. For example, ask yourself “Can I really not afford that or is it just not that important right now?” When people really see the value in something they want, they usually make it work because they can see that the beneficial return of making a certain investment is larger than the financial input. Another question to ask yourself might be: “Am I really not qualified enough or am I just saying this because I’m afraid of getting rejected?” or “Do I really don’t know or am I hesitant to make a choice.”
Switching from a scarcity to an abundance mindset takes time and practice. As always, make the journey a fun, compassionate, and loving one. I know that if you can stick with this, it will change your life!
Holiday Gift Idea:
If you want support and really start living a life of abundance, I have something for you or a loved one:
If you (or someone you love) want support in figuring out what you really want in your life and how to make it happen, let’s talk. For the holidays, I am offering a transformational coaching package tailored to help you kick-off 2014 with clarity and excitement.
Details: you + me, 3.5 hours, 1-on-1 focused support on you, your struggles and your ideal solutions + how to start taking active steps right away ($450).
These power sessions are truly transformational!
If you are done with playing small and feeling stuck and really want to make 2014 your greatest year yet, let me help you take action and have fun while doing it. Email me at Caroline@carolinezwick.com, ask me any questions you want, and let’s get started.
Here is what others have said:
“Getting organized on what I need to do to move forward has been priceless.” -Tiffani, N.Y.C.
“With Caroline’s help, I was able to see beyond my fears. Together, we mapped out an action plan that would forever change my life for the better, and girl, is it better!” - Flavia, San Francisco
“To say this experience has changed me would be an understatement. Its been so worthwhile.” -Michele, N.Y.C
Read more personal stories, here.
I would love to support you!