Do you ever look at other people, what they are doing, what they have achieved, who they are dating, what they look like and then you go home and feel shitty about yourself?
Do you take every opportunity out there to compare yourself to others –either to make yourself feel better by bashing what they are doing OR to bash yourself for what you have not achieved yet?
Basically, is your sense of self-worth dependent on how you measure up against your external environment?
There is a delicate difference between looking at others and allowing them and their journey to inspire you and a completely different game plan when other people’s success is making you feel miserable about yourself and what you are currently doing.
Nobody, and I mean nobody, was born with their achievements and successes in their pockets, but everyone, and I mean everyone, has at one point or another encountered opportunities -it’s simply a matter of recognizing life occurrences as such. Even those people who have seemingly been handed everything on a silver tray have still taken the opportunity that came along and turned it into something worthwhile.
How inspiring is that?
We are all in the same boat. We just have different fishing gear aka. unique ways of doing things.
Here are the three main consequences you will inevitably run into when you are caught up in comparing yourself to others:
1) You will feel bad about yourself and your own process no matter how successful you are. Your focus is on other people and, therefore you will only see what you do not have and stay blind to what you do have. It basically doesn’t matter what you achieve because you won’t register it.
2) You are sending envious and negative energy into the world. The kind of success that feels authentic, fulfilling, and truly gratifying never originates from a place of negativity.
3) You are so focused on what success looks like in other people that you make it impossible for yourself to approach your life with a creative mind and do anything truly unique, different, and out-of-the-box.
So, let’s be honest, wouldn’t it be really nice to free yourself from comparison and finally feel good about who you are and where you are heading today?
Here is what I would like to encourage you to do this week:
1) Get genuinely excited about other peoples' successes
- "Awesome that she got a promotion!"
- "So happy she is finally dating a guy who is successful, handsome, and treats her like gold."
- "Her body is in amazing shape and looks hot. I couldn’t be happier for her."
2) Start to look at your daily life as full of opportunities
- An elevator conversation with a stranger could turn into a new job, a great friend, a good mood…
- A new gym class could turn into your favorite summer workout and a rocking confidence because you are having too much fun to think about whether you have upper-lip sweat and your thighs are jiggling.
- A challenge at work could be your way to show your boss how committed you are to the job and that you are able to solve the most boring problems with a creative and engaged mind.
3) Commit to doing things in your own way according to what feels right and good to you
- Your own timeframe
- Your own order
- Your own creative way of problem solving
In the comments below, let me know in what circumstances you compare yourself to others and how you can reframe these thoughts to better serve you.
If you liked this post, I would love it if you shared it with your friends and family so that they too can free themselves from comparing to others and instead dwell in their own progress.
To your uniqueness,